I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so much alike. I would love to meet you someday. It would be great to have a catch. I know I can’t throw as fast as you, but I think you would be impressed w my speed. I love your hair. You run fast. Do you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither. These are all the things we can talk about and more. I am sure our relationship would be a real home run!
Rooting for you always,
THEN CHASE RESPONDED! I hope you have some weakness tissues handy bc your eyes are about to piss tears… Of laughter.